Which Spice Girl Are You?

No band screams ‘girl power’ more than the Spice Girls. They are well known for each having their own persona, unfortunately, there is no spicy story as to why they all have their nicknames; Mel B revealed in an interview that their nicknames were a result of a journalist who couldn’t remember the band member’s names. Quite the anti-climax, really.

We thought we’d spice things up, though, and give some meaning behind these iconic nicknames. In light of our Girl Power Special, take a look and see which Spice Girl you identify with most.

Sporty Spice

Spends her time in leggings and sports bra. Works out twice a day and goes to the gym 5 times a week. Most likely a vegan. Drinks protein shakes and adds chia seeds to all her food. Shops in Waitrose. Sliders are a well thought out choice of footwear, and not something you just chuck on when heading down to the corner shop a bit worse for wear after a night out.

Posh Spice

Was probably one of those horse girls back at school. Owns a cream coloured Fiat 500 that her darling dad bought for her as a gift for her 17th birthday but had to fail her driving test seven times before she could drive it. Turns up to every lecture at uni with a coffee from Starbucks and sits there eagerly on her Macbook Pro, but really she’s looking at what Michael Kors bag she can buy next.

Scary Spice

Has a resting bitch-face. Is lairy after two Kopparbergs. Will go psycho on her man who ain’t her man but is her man in her head, if he so much as says ‘thank you’ to the girl on the checkout in a supermarket after being given his change. If she says ‘it’s fine, enjoy yourself’ ABORT MISSION; it’s not fine and she wants you to have a terrible time. 

Ginger Spice

Pretty self-explanatory – she’s a redhead. However, could possibly be in denial and insist she’s ‘strawberry blonde’ or ‘auburn’ – don’t lie to yourself, hun, you’re more ginger than a gingernut biscuit. Goes in the sun for 2 minutes and burns to a crisp. Despite the ginger-stigma, she is probably the best Spice of them all.

Baby Spice

The baby of the group. Acts innocent but really she’s a dark horse – it’s always the quiet ones. She’ll be the one who gets you to do more shots even though you’re paralytic and need to call 999 for a lift home in an ambulance, instead of a taxi. She persuades you to go out instead of staying in and doing your assignments – she’s the bad influence we all need.

Spice up your life by heading down to The Haunt on the 24th of May for our Girl Power Special at Secret Discotheque.

Secret Discotheque Tickets