The Fat Pops Guide To Festival Recovery

With Glastonbury already packing itself away for another year and most of 2019’s major festivals already in the bag, there is a chance that you are currently or have recently succumb to the dreaded “festival blues”. Festivals are a wonderful and ecstasy-filled Narnia, where all time and responsibilities are banished for a few days, which can make returning to the real world a little hard to handle for some.

So to stop you from feeling the ever-impending depression that comes from returning from a festival, we’ve put together a handy guide to help you slip back into normal society without too much of a mundane culture shock.

Wear Festival Clothes Under Your Normal Clothes

Festival clothing is a unique and garish look outside of any perimeter fence. While we can all be seduced by wearing loud and audacious garbs while jamming along to whatever music we can find, in normal society, wearing a full headdress with politically aggravated slogans on it can be jarring for those around you on the morning commute.

But rather than store those beautiful items away until next time, you might find a bit a thrill just keeping on the old sequined bra or mankini under your normal clothes for a few days after. Not only does this give a smooth and steady closure from your weekend, it also helps you remain in that positive spirit, which can go a long way when you look to reconnect with the rest of us.

Order Your Favourite Takeaway Immediately

Festival food has come a long way in the last few years, but we can all agree that it is still garbage when it comes to your dream meal. Those food trucks need to sell food that will keep for a whole weekend so by the end, you are down to the brown-tinged veg and sorry-looking burgers that no one was willing to touch on day one. So give your taste buds a festival too by treating them to the best food money can buy; Nando’s.

Change You Ringtone To The Sound Of A Crowd Cheering

If there is anything that gets people charged up for a weekend festival, it is the pulsing and soaring roar of a crowd. There is nothing like walking into an event and getting to hear all those people singing along to ‘Country Roads’ or whatever the pre-set DJ has put on beforehand.

So to keep that memory and energy continuing to surge through your veins, change whatever ringtone or message tone you have to the sounds of a thunderous crowd. Just hearing it will trigger instant flashbacks to the good times you had in a field, unless of course you spent most of the weekend guarding the toilet door for Becky because she couldn’t handle her vodka and you ended up missing mostly of The Killers. Thanks Becky.

Hug The First Person You See Wearing A Kimono

Usually we see someone walking down the street in a kimono, two things can cross our mind. Either they are on their way to their job as a barista in a vegan café, or they are trying their best to cling onto the last threads of joy they felt at their most recent festival. Nine times out of ten, it will be the latter, and these people need our help more than ever.

They are clearly having a hard time letting go of what they just experienced and need some reassurance. So give them a hug, tell them it’ll all be ok, and if they don’t treat you as some incredibly whacked out weirdo, join them in a rendition of ‘Chelsea Dagger’. You might just save a life.