So, if you’re reading this I would assume you are either at the back end of your first year at university or you are in a later stage of university life and if so I feel for you massively.
Either way, I’m sure you will still be able to appreciate these 7 things that 100% have happened to you at some stage during your first year at university.
1) The novelty of cooking food wore off very quickly.
The first few weeks of university go by and you go shopping once a week, you buy the freshest of all food you are cooking these exceptional meals and life is going well. You turn into Gordon Ramsey and you’re uploading your superb meals to Snapchat and getting those love heart emoji eye replies to your meals. Now, you’re 6 months deep into your university course and you applaud yourself if you don’t burn the toast for once. You’re counting a Terry’s Chocolate Orange as one of your five a day and you might as well change your middle name to ready meal.
2) You understand the true meaning of card counting.
I hear you ask, what has card counting got to do with university? Well essentially it’s where you go out clubbing, and you utter the words ‘if I pay by my card, then it will not count’. This is a common problem for first-year university students and with the new inclusion of contactless payment, it is only going to get worse. This also brings me onto the most stressful moment of a student’s life, which is slowly looking on your online banking the next morning to see the damage you have caused.
3) You begin to impersonate anybody with an accent different to your own.
In your first year of University, you would have met a variety of people, from a variety of places. You would expect that because of this you would take the time to learn more about where they live, find out as much information as possible and enhance your knowledge of the world we live in. But no, you spend 30 minutes trying to pull off their accent in a terrible way. So, take note any future first years reading this, if you have a reasonably strong accent of any kind, then don’t go to Uni. Trust me… it will be horrible.
4) You will begin to create a new-found love for daytime napping
Right, so you have just come back from your only lecture of the day. It’s 2 pm, any other sane person would decide that this is the perfect time to catch up with lectures, or to catch up with family or to catch a bus somewhere and explore Brighton. But no for first-year students, this time is spent catching up with sleep. You get back into your room, feeling proud of yourself for finally going into university and it’s time to treat yourself, and what do you do? You nap like you have never napped before. But beware! When you wake up from this nap you will feel confused, still tired and will not know what day it is.
5) You experience toilet realisation.
Again, I can hear you asking, what on earth is toilet realisation? Well, it happens when you are at a nightclub and you get to the stage of the night where you have had one or two too many jäger bombs (which by the way are 5 for £5 at Monday Night Haunt!) you then run to the toilet, get rid of any excess liquid in your system and look in the mirror for a solid 5 minutes. Here is the list of things that could have already experienced during this 5-minute mirror stare. Firstly, you could experience the pep talk, this consists of you looking in the mirror, doing your hair and telling yourself that you are a strong person, with good looks who can pull anybody who you want! Secondly, you could experience the immature child, this literally just consists of you looking in the mirror and uttering the words of ‘I’m so f***ed’ then giggling at the state of yourself in the mirror. The final experience you could have is the DDD which stands for Depressed, Drunk and Disorderly. This consists of you sitting on the toilet, re-evaluating your life and crying into your hands… until you hear an absolute banger come on the speakers and you run out of their as fast as you possibly can.
6) You lie to yourself… a lot
This one is self-explanatory, during your first year you will lie to yourself on a regular basis. Instead of going deep into the reasoning behind this I will just show you the examples of lies that you would have said to yourself at one point.
“Yeah I’m not going to go to my 9 am lecture, but it’s online so I’m going to catch up!”
“I am 100% not drinking alcohol this week”
“I can’t make it in today, I feel really ill, can you pick up the work for me please?”
“I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and re-read all of my notes”
“I’m never going to get to a stage where I have to have an overdraft”
7) You realise how you don’t photo well
Before you left to go to University you believed that you were a gift from god, your looks were your forte and if it all goes wrong you can just do modelling… right? WRONG. After the first year of University and hundreds of professional nightclub photos, you realise how you are the worst looking person on this planet. You begin to avoid the cameras on nights out because you don’t want another photo of your eyes falling out of their sockets and your hair being covered in sweat. But most of all, you are clicking refresh on the nightclubs photo album for about a day to make sure no horrible photos of yourself have been added.
Like this post? Check out some of the drinking games that are essential to university life here.